Bruce Bernstein

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I’m Offended! You Hurt My Feelings! And Other Reactions…

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Have you ever thought to yourself: ‘That’s offensive’ or even said to someone you’re talking to “I’m offended by that…”? I’m guessing that almost everyone has at some point in their lives. This explores what’s really going on.

What You Feel is Always Real...

In the worldview of many — maybe even most — what they feel, or think, has become the job and responsibility of others. You might be wondering ‘What exactly are you talking about?’ That’s what I’ll explore in the following paragraphs.

More...

Have you ever thought to yourself that something said by others offended you, hurt your feelings, or made you feel anything unwanted? If yes, you may have given away your power.

Perhaps you prefer experiencing life that way — relying on others to create reality for you. Perhaps you’re unaware that this is how you’ve been experiencing life.

Either way, at its most fundamental level, this is about you, and how you feel. How you feel is critical to our lives and our happiness but most work hard to ignore this aspect of ourselves. Even worse, we’re content to give this power away, to let others determine how we feel, allowing their words and actions create feelings within.

I’m not talking about what we think. I am talking about what we actually feel inside. How our bodies are feeling in any moment, which can and does change moment-to-moment. This is not a reference to an injury or illness with the body. It is about emotional reactions.

As an example, think about any ‘angst’ you may have felt within — not the thoughts related to the angst, but the actual way the body felt when you were anxious.

These are the types of feelings I am referencing. And they encompass every possible one, from the disturbing feelings, such as angst, to the other end of the spectrum, feelings of joy and elation.

Key Takeaway...

 I am talking about what we actually feel inside. How our bodies are feeling in any moment, which can and does change moment-to-moment.

Responsibility and Your Power

Too many people have given away a very powerful responsibility. This responsibility is the way the feel, inside, which is innately theirs, but they’ve offloaded it to others, along with all the power that comes with it.

Ultimately, this is the power and ability of self-determination, the power to craft and create the way we see and feel about our lives and the world. Why would anyone ever give away this power? How we see and feel about our lives and the world is one of the most important creative processes we possess.

If there is such a thing as a sin, giving this power and responsibility to others — allowing them to make these determinations for us — would be the greatest sin of all.

When we are in charge — claim and own this responsibility as our own — then we alone determine how we go through life.

We can feel angry, sad, dissatisfied, or miserable. Or, we can be happy, joyful, content, and excited by life. This choice should be yours… Always. It should never be abdicated, offloaded to anyone else, which is what is happening when you allow someone else to cause you to feel something.

I'm Offended!

Enter the phrases: I’m offended by that! I find that offensive! You hurt my feelings!

All these, and others like them, if accompanied by any sort of feeling within your body, are an indication that you have given away your power to feel good.

Key Takeaway...

If there is such a thing as a sin, giving this power and responsibility to others — allowing them to make these determinations for us — would be the greatest sin of all.

Become aware of the feelings within your body. Monitor yourself. Then use this information for some honest-to-goodness self-examination. Follow the feelings to the source and make peace with those you find disturbing.

This will lead to a greater sense of self-determination and control in your life, which is a good thing. It is the key to inner peace.

Ignoring or burying these feelings is not a good idea. Doing this won’t make them go away. This just hides them. They may not be actively known but they remain free to influence behaviors and choices. And they do. Even worse, often they will return sometime in the future with vengeance.

Take Back Your Power!

You want to be in control, and you should be. This is your responsibility and is a key aspect to create the life you’d like to experience. Your experiences are your own. They’re for you to enjoy and learn from. Do you want others to determine what these experiences should be and how you should feel about them?

Take back this power. Don’t let others steal this power from you.

Realize this: Good or bad, you are in charge of the way you feel. And, how you feel determines how you experience life. It determines the level and amount of joy you experience and also the failures you endure.

If you want a better life, this is the first thing to focus on. Reclaiming this responsibility and developing the awareness of the way you feel internally are powerful keys, opening a door to a completely different perspective. One that gives you control and provides an avenue for a more joyful life experience in the now, which leads to more success in the future.

Reclaiming this power shines a light on whatever path you take and removes the shadows that prevent you from seeing your true destination.

Where do you want to go? Are you on the right path to get there?



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