Bruce Bernstein

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Can We Talk? Conversation, Consciousness, and Awareness of Self

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consciousness and awareness

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We love to talk. Some talk more than others. Communication is a critical component of our existence. But simple conversations can reveal more about one’s level of consciousness and the totality of their awareness than most realize.

Preface

What you are about to read doesn’t apply to all conversations you have or will have. And it will apply to each person differently, depending on their level of consciousness. With that said, let’s get to it…

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Introduction

We talk and talk and talk. Why? Are there subtle, internal motivating factors driving us to discuss, share, and communicate?

Certainly, there are. Sometimes these are benign. For many, though, sometimes they are indicators of nagging and often neglected parts of ourselves craving a little love.

In addition to talking, another aspect of our verbal communications is our willingness to listen. When we engage in conversation, how many of us are so busy talking and thinking about what we’re going to say next that we fail to listen?

This may surprise some, but the answer to that question is many. We love to talk but we’re not great listeners. Awareness of Self, inner awareness, is the key to understanding our internal motivators.

Consciousness and Conversation

Of course, as is the case with most things in our world, one’s level of consciousness is part of this equation. Those coming from a place of higher consciousness are more likely to listen and actually hear what is being said to them. Those at the lower levels can have more trouble with this.

I think we’ll all agree that conversations, by their very nature, should be 2-way. We are not ‘dictating’, we are commiserating. Verbal communications have 2 components — we speak, and we listen. The latter component, though, is often unconsciously overlooked.

I acknowledge that I have been guilty of that during emotional conversations. It is easy to get caught up in an emotional moment and lose one’s objectivity and even a sense of reality.

We see examples of this exhibited every day in discussion threads on social media, where cognitive dissonance becomes a major influence upon those caught in emotion and plays a big role in determining people’s thoughts and opinions.

Key Takeaway...

We see examples of this exhibited every day in discussion threads on social media, where cognitive dissonance becomes a major influence upon those caught in emotion and plays a big role in determining people’s thoughts and opinions.

This is why internal monitoring is essential to communication. When we remove emotion from conversations we have more control over our capacity for attentiveness, as well as our actions and reactions. In short, those with greater inner awareness are more likely to be good listeners.

The Power of Being Consciously Aware

So, what’s really going on there?

This is where our spiritual nature and our level of consciousness enters the picture. The Ego self (one of the five primary aspects of your spiritual nature) likes being in control. In fact, it needs to feel like it is in control. And it needs validation, acceptance, and praise.

A conversation can fill all these needs. During a conversation, when we are the one speaking, the Ego self feels in control. The other participants are listening to us, focusing their attention on us as we share our thoughts and ideas. We are the center of attention.

The Ego self loves being the center of attention and when others are quietly listening to what we are saying it believes that it is in control, satisfying its most powerful need.

I encourage you to become aware of how you’re feeling deep inside during your next conversation. Assuming you’re in a friendly conversation, and not a disagreement, you’ll likely find that, deep inside, you feel good when you are talking. You may feel a sense of comfort… Secure.

Those who are extremely shy may feel something different, as their inner angst may get the best of them in those moments, but most of us will like how we’re feeling. We feel fulfilled in that moment, though this feeling is short-lived. Short though they may be, these feelings are food for the Ego self, playing into its need for acceptance, validation, and admiration.

It substitutes this for the love many haven’t learned to provide for themselves.

When someone else begins speaking, temporarily taking over the conversation, the focus shifts away from us and onto them. In a flash, our moment in the spotlight disappears — it’s gone — only to return when we begin talking again, thus regaining temporary control of the conversation.

Key Takeaway...

The Ego self loves being the center of attention and when others are quietly listening to what we are saying it believes that it is in control, satisfying its most powerful need.

Losing this control, even for a very short time is, for some, a difficult experience. They may quickly interject to try to reclaim the spotlight.

Others are more accommodating — content, and willing to listen and actually hear what others are communicating. Then, at an appropriate time, if they have something of value to add, will again contribute to the conversation. This is a higher consciousness perspective.

Opinions

Often, when we speak, we’re sharing opinions. Our society has become enamored with opinions. Opinions are a distraction, and their proliferation has been compounded by social media.

Many enlightened masters have spoken about the hazards of opinions, suggesting that the best course of action is to limit or eliminate them. When thinking about possessions to be purged from our lives, opinions should be on top of the list.

Physical possessions, especially material things and financial wealth need not be eliminated. When properly contextualized and experienced for what they truly are, without the unrealistic expectations and baggage the Ego self can heap upon them, these are man’s creations and are wonderful. They should not define us and, in the bigger picture, don’t matter.

Opinions, on the other hand, are true possessions that are best left behind. They can be damaging to our spiritual selves.

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Many times, when someone offers an opinion, they are looking for agreement. When opinions are shared, they are presented not only so that others will agree, but they’re often used as an unsaid request for admiration — like fishing for complements.

The Underlying Spiritual Principles in Action

This is a powerful example of the Ego self at work. The validation, acceptance, and praise it craves can all be satisfied when opinions are shared, but only when others agree and admire. Otherwise, arguments might ensue. Cognitive dissonance is often the energy at work here.

While satisfying the Ego self isn’t a bad thing — it is okay to satisfy the needs of the Ego self, as it needs Love, too — sharing unwavering opinions for this purpose is lower consciousness behavior.

Becoming aware of the internal drivers behind one’s behaviors is a powerful tool that will lead to higher consciousness.

When you do employ inner awareness, and if you catch yourself using opinions to satisfy an inner need for acceptance, admiration, and love, don’t beat yourself up. Almost all of us do this at some point in life. Just resolve to do better next time.

Key Takeaway...

Becoming aware of the internal drivers behind one’s behaviors is a powerful tool
that will lead to higher consciousness.

Conclusion

Awareness is a powerful remedy for what ails us at the deepest levels. Spark up your inner awareness and begin to feel the foundation of your motivations, even for simple conversations. Learn to recognize the Ego self and its fear-based needs.

Yes, seeking outer validation, acceptance, and praise is a fear-based need. Its foundation is the Ego self. But the Ego self will do everything possible to mask that fear. It often disguises itself in the energy of self-righteous opinions and shares these to fill its need for outer world validation, acceptance, and admiration.

The Ego self just wants to feel better about itself and about life. It wants security and comfort. Become aware of these needs and do your best to provide them in a different way.

Use love. Employ the powerful tool of inner awareness and accept yourself and the inner angst you surely will discover. This is a path to higher consciousness.

About Me.

Bruce Bernstein has been a student of all things spiritual for over 35 years. As many do, he began with books, crystals, and other group activities. But his search became a solo journey. He had no teachers or gurus to consult with which forced him to look within, to his inner guidance. This is where he found the best information and answers to his questions. He now teaches the things he learned with the hope of helping others more quickly accomplish what he did, and to do it with fewer challenges.



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